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It's just a number, right?

Yes, and also, no.  To begin I need to acknowledge that I know what a god damn privilege it is to have reached the age of 49. I'm not complacent enough to dismiss that as anything other than what it is - fabulous. Some might say, an achievement. If we're measuring achievements on surviving a number of rotations around the sun with the good fortune of doing little more than just getting up, eating and drinking water that is. With a level of exercise that gamely consists of walking a number of steps a day to register four figures on the jaunty phone health app, then I'm positively a high achiever. Getting here, to this point in my life however, often not so fabulous. A journey of beautiful ups and crashing, crushing downs. I can attest to some wins, I can also tally many losses. Just like you. Just like all of us. Probably. Is it wrong to say, hopefully? At this point in my life, knocking on 50's door, a lot of things annoy me, myself included much of the time, but equall

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